Acknowledgement and Enthusing

7. Acknowledging & Enthusing

Acknowledging

How often do people tell us they support us in what we are actually doing? Usually we only hear from someone when me make a mistake or something doesn’t turn out right.

The truth is, we all know how good it feels when some one we trust tells us how well we have done, or reminds us of the power and benefit our talents and skills have had on others. In cases like this we are being acknowledged.

A coach needs to know how to acknowledge some one in the process of learning, taking action, and developing. Acknowledgement comes after some one has taken action and done something. It is about letting people know we support them in these actions.

Questions: Think of a time in your life when you received acknowledgement, how did it make you feel?

Common Reasons We Avoid Acknowledging:

You observe that a subordinate or superior made some great stride or made a significant contribution, or resolved a difficult situation. Did you tell him/her what you noticed?

• Well, it is part of her job….
• Oh, he already knows that it.
• He doesn’t want to hear that from me. It’s not my place.
• No, are you kidding, she’s my boss!
• No, I didn’t. I’m not that familiar with her.
• No, I didn’t say anything because I want him to get better at it…

Two Parts to a Powerful Acknowledgment

1. Delivering it (sincerely & truthfully)
2. Allowing it to be received

Three Typical Deflectors

1. responding with a reciprocal acknowledgment
2. minimizing the impact with self-deprecating humor
3. flat out rejecting the comment, with modesty or not

Coaching tip: Don’t just blurt your acknowledgment and be content with getting the words out of your mouth. Let it land. Make sure that it has been heard and understood and let the recipient bask in the impact for moment.

Questions: What is the difference between acknowledgment, encouraging, and complimenting?

The Language of Acknowledgement

The language we use for acknowledging someone is: “I want to acknowledge you for…”

• I want to acknowledge that you do a great job in creating your own style.
• I believe that’s a wise decision and I support you in that.
• Good for you, coming up with this novel solution.

• You conducted that meeting extremely well and we are all please with the outcome.
  

Compare:

I like your dress.

à I would like to acknowledge how well you always look. You have a great sense of style.

You did a good job. à

Thanks for sending me the files. à

Sample Dialogue

Co-worker: Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. It seems to get me in trouble with Mary.

Coach: What you did was point out the disorganization within the team. And you spoke out even though you knew it might have a cost. I want to acknowledge your courage for doing that.

Co-worker: Thanks. I might have to also let Mary know that I appreciate all her efforts to make the project a success.

Coach: I think that’s a great idea. I know you can do that.