The Language of Coaching

2. The Language of Coaching

The Six Key Words of Coaching:

What? How? Why? When? Where? Which?

Coaches ask questions, questions, questions. Coaching is not about having all the answers, it is about asking the right questions.

More common words:

behavior(s)

request

explore

focus

uncover

elaborate

agreement

action

realistic

feedback

goal

challenge

thoughts

barriers

progress

purpose

effective

benefits

Here's an example of how a coach uses these words in sentences, combining them with "question" words:

Coachee: The person I supervise is driving me crazy.

Coach: What are the specific behaviors that bother you?

Coaching tip: Learn to question to get to the specifics of a statement. Don’t pretend to know what someone’s vague statement may mean.

Another example:

Coach: What's your vision of how the marketing program could work?

Coachee: I don't have a clue.

Coach: If you did have a clue, what would it be?

Coaching tip: This challenging coach uses language to access the coachee's capacity of the mind to go beyond its limited perceptions.

Another example:

Coach: When do you think you will complete the project?

Coachee: I'm sure I can complete the project in a month.

Coach: Can I give you my thoughts on that?

Coachee: Sure.

Coach: Well, from my experience I've never experienced anyone completing a project of this size in less than three months.

Coachee: Oh, really?

Coach: Yes. Can I make a request?

Coachee: Yes.

Coach: Why don’t we take a minute to explore the various aspects of the project and what they entail? Would you be open to that?

Coachee: Okay, sounds good.

Coaching tip: Learn to ask permission before giving thoughts, feedback, or suggestions. If people give permission first, they have bought into the process and are more likely to listen and to act.

Another example:

Coachee: I'm having difficulty with Sally's performance.

Coach: What specific behaviors (competencies) are you having difficulty with?

Coachee: Well, we've both agreed that her position calls for her to do five reports a week. She's barely doing three. And it's affecting the team.

Coach: Was there a time when she was meeting this competency?

Coachee: No.

Coach: Is she aware of the performance gap between what's expected and what she's producing?

Coachee: I don't know.

Coach: How long has this been going on?

Coachee: More than three months.

Coach: How come you haven't held her accountable for this earlier?