Perspective and Reframing

3. Shifting Perspectives

Overview On Perspective

Perspective is so fundamental to how we all experience life. Perspective is a point of view—it is “a way of looking at, or interpreting, a particular situation”.

The Secret of Life

Your perspective determines your experience in life, not your circumstances.

Coaching tip: Consider how powerful a coach is, who can change people’s lives and behaviors, not by changing their circumstances but by changing their perspectives.

Example:

Carla was jumping from rock to rock along the river. She was jumping very timidly, scared of falling into the water and getting wet. Suddenly she slipped and got soaked. Once again, jumping from rock to rock, she found that since she was wet already, she had nothing to fear. She started taking great leaps and having twice as much fun as before!

Question: What happened here?

Discussion:

1. When have you experienced a change in your perspective? What did it take for you to change your point of view?
2. How will helping your coworkers (or superiors, subordinates) make a difference in their work and life?

Reframing

What is re-framing?

To shift or change perspectives to help us deal better with the situation at hand and to aligned more closely with solution finding (problem solving).

Coaching tip: One of the most valuable contributions a coach can make is to help someone get clear on their current perspective and help them shift into a more empowering one.

Fear

Fear plays a large part in people’s minds. Fear about what other’s think, fear about being not heard or misunderstood, fear of not being respected, fear of not being in control or having power, fear of losing face or status, fear of…

Fear gives rise to disempowering perspectives, which create the victim mentality—that your life situation and experiences is beyond your influence.

Example:

Someone says, “I’ll never get that position.”

Coach asks about the fear:

• What makes you believe that?
• What kind of people would get that position?
• What would it take for you to be one of those people?
• What would it take for you to get that position?
• How does this belief serve you? What believe could serve you better?
• What would you like to have happen?
• What would it take to reach this objective?
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Coaching tip: The overall goal of a coaching relationship is for the employee being coached to achieve personal and professional growth; to be able to take their performance to the next level.

Disempowering Perspectives

Usually these points of view come from a perspective of judgment that leave someone feeling down, limited, or confused. The language of disempowerment sounds like:

Struggle: “It’s too hard.”

Invalidation: “I’m not good at that.”

Reaction: “How can that be!” “Oh, that’s terrible!”

Significance: “It doesn’t really matter.” “I don’t care anyway.”

Blaming/Victim: “It’s not my fault.”

Doubt: “It’s impossible.” “I don’t trust that guy at all.”

Criticism: “Their purchasing department is so disorganized.”

Protection: “I’m not responsible for that. It’s not my job.”

Question: What are some common disempowering perspectives you hear around your company?

Empowering Perspectives

These perspectives leave someone feeling worthy, active, and clear.

Respect “I appreciate what he is trying to do here.”

Responding “I wonder why that happened?”

Responsibility

Commitment

Trust

Action

Exploration

Challenge

Generosity

Contribution

Truth

Beliefs Expressed as Words

One of the first things to learn about coaching, is that it is all about how people see the world. It is all about perspective. And your perspective on life is a reflection of your deepest beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Your personal beliefs, and thus your perception, are given expression through the words you use.

The World’s Most Commonly Shared Belief:

I am a victim. Life happens to me. I am powerless to affect my life. Others are the cause of my problems.

Learn to listen for words—within yourself and with others—which signal the belief that we live at the mercy of what life throws at us.

• If only they were more...
• If only I had more...
• If only they listened....
• They don’t listen to me….
• She doesn’t understand me…
• He is not very…
• It’s not my fault…

Basic Premise Shift Needed:

I am now at Cause for all the effects in my life. I create my life. I create the exact level of my success at work and in life.

When our internal language shifts to the understanding that we create everything in our lives then we live our lives at cause:

• I choose to have ... in my life
• I choose to… communicate more effectively.
• I am not communicating in a way that is being heard.
• I am not leveraging his strengths and talents as well as I could.
• I feel that I have less control in this situation than I’d like to.